Summertime 2020

Man what a summer that was! Lots of work, time spent outside and a little bit of schoolwork.  In the beginning of the summer a friend and I decided to start training for a marathon.  After some discussions and debating we decided on running the Rock n' Roll marathon in December in Texas! I am super pumped and loving training but also, it is 26.2 miles.  The summer was not overly hot but that was nice since I spent the majority of my time in scrubs with a mask and shield on.....thank you covid.  Aunt Maria, Uncle Pat and the fam came to town for a few weeks which was fun.  We went on many walks, runs and enjoyed each other's company.  After they left town one of my best friends came to vist me.  We spent a full week of hiking, rafting, and kayaking around Montana.  Such good times and a much needed visit, at least for me it was.  

This summer I felt more alone than I ever have in my life.  This was ridiculous because I knew/know that I am not alone yet the feeling would consistently be there which was annoying.  By the end of the summer I had had it with this feeling.  I lashed out at my family which was not the best decision as I stormed off to work, yet again.  Looking back I was being a twerp and trying to bury my feelings, telling myself that it will all just go away and I will return to normal.  I think this is the hardest part of life for me, acknowledging that I do have feelings, emotions and cannot always keep up a front that life is fine.  We were created with emotions, feelings, passions etc. yet, I have the hardest time accepting that I have them. I know that all people do but I refuse to accept that I am also human, like all of you hooligans.  So to help this situation (or attempt to help it) I have committed to training for this marathon, committed to finishing this semester strong, and simply living.  Decisions of where to move and schools/jobs after this semester are looming over my head; at the same time I cannot make any solid decisions until I either am accepted to grad school or I receive a job offer.  Yikes, the overthinker in me is in full swing.  The spontaneous side of me took a trip to Michigan for Labor Day weekend which was so enjoyable and made me feel like I would thrive living out there if that is what ends up happening with me after this semester. So here are some pictures 

Testing out some grapes before they become wine. Some of my favorite things.

Paddle boarding on Placid with the little sis.  The sunset was gorgeous that evening even though there was so much smoke.