Life is messy and oh so beautiful. Everyday I find myself wondering what I truly want from my life. Ranching life or medical life? Then I wonder if these can coincide in life. So many questions for such a young girl who truly wonders every day if she is even meant to be a grown up yet. Then I remember that I am now twenty-one and heading full throttle into the adult life. Yikes! This means that I have to make some big decisions and that these decisions are not child play anymore. It also means that there is nothing wrong in making these decisions and that the decisions made might not be made very gracefully. But this is always okay because life is not meant to look perfect let alone be perfect. I have been working on moving forward in school which means there is a lot of work involved. I am taking chemistry and physics this semester to prepare to major in BioChem to apply to Physician-Assistant school. The classes are good and challenging but I enjoy learning in the classes.
Life has been pretty busy but fun at the same time. In between classes I train three Paso Fino horses. They have taught me so much in the past six months, from being more patient to learning how to overcome a behavior in a different way. I enjoy being with them (even if they are being stubborn) because there is something so relaxing about being in the saddle out in the mountains where not a soul exists. So grateful for this experience. In between that I am leading a discipleship group for some high school senior girls. (Who thought I would lead that??) As I prepare for each week God works in many different ways. I am not much of a Bible reader but every week I am reminded of how much the Bible has taught us and how it is literally a book of Truth in a world filled with so many lies.
For Thanksgiving I went to my aunt and uncle's house over in Cottonwood, ID. It was a grand little adventure. I drove over Lolo pass by myself and through the little sketchy towns along the river and then finally arrived in Cottonwood. Of course the weekend was filled with lessons from Uncle Alex and good advice from Aunt Margaret. As I have began to really try to navigate life (and enjoy it) by myself I have been very blessed with having Uncle Alex in my life to talk to and receive advice from. Our discussions range from being very serious (marriage, boyfriends, and military) to being off the wall topics to going out to hunt for wolves with an AR-15. Spending Thanksgiving with their family was very enjoyable and really helped me gain insight to what I truly want out of life, especially what I want to have in a husband as well as what I need to work on to be a good wife.....someday.
As for now finals are upon the world and I have, of course, been panicking a little. All is well with the world though as we finish this semester and see where I will be next semester. Christmas will be full of joy as we welcome our King into this world.
Happy Advent!
~A Girl Chasing her Dreams
Sunday, December 10, 2017
Monday, December 4, 2017
Books before Boys because Boys bring Babies
Disclaimer: Babies are good, I just do not want one right now.
Recently I broke up with my boyfriend. It was one of the worst and best experiences that one can have. You learn to stand up for yourself even if breaking up with the other person does not necessarily mean that he or she is a horrible person; it means that the particular person is not meant for you. As much as the dating scene can have rough waters it does teach many lessons for those of us out there hoping to get married someday.
The first lesson that I learned is to let people into my life, to be vulnerable. This is one of the hardest things in life that I continually am trying to accomplish every day. It is not easy for me to be vulnerable thus when this man came into my life I tried every tactic in my book to try to scare him off. All of these ranging from acting completely disinterested and totally aloof to telling him straight up that I did not 'really like you the way you like me'. This did not deter him and a month later he was picking me up at my house to take me on a date. As we drove down the highway I was nervous...and he was too. To sum it all up he took me to dinner then we went dancing in the headlights. (Very fun for those who have not done it. Driving and then each of you alternate choosing a spot to jump out and dance to before continuing to drive down the dirt road) Anyways, to digress, to be vulnerable, to allow someone to do what they are meant to do, to pursue the woman, and to be the man was a lesson well worth learning.
The second lesson is that we must be equally yoked. From 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" This young man was not Catholic and I am full-blooded, cradle born Catholic. It was my biggest issue with our relationship, from the beginning. Many people told me to give him the chance and to deal with that later. So I focused on learning who he was as a person without trying to define him by what his faith was. As our short relationship grew though the tension of not being at the same place in our faith started to rise. I was answering questions and wanting him to come to Mass every Sunday with me, while he had other plans instead of rising early to attend Mass where it really didn't pertain to him. (Very hard for a non-Catholic to go to Mass every Sunday when they do not truly understand the meaning of the Mass) This lead to many disagreements and worries in our relationship. It is not impossible for a non-Catholic and a Catholic to marry but if they are not equally yoked there will be struggles for one will have to give up part of their faith for the sake of the other.
The third lesson: would he make a good father? In many aspects this young man would have made a good father. He was very kind to children and especially to the elderly. He loved to have fun and knew how to jump right in to listening to all the crazy things in my family. He has an excellent relationship with his mother but while all of this is good, he wasn't quite grown up. He would often leave town to race to other towns to help a friend in need. (good quality, bad timing) His best friend was more important than me. (Leaving me wondering what happened to our plans as he was off with his best friend) To marry someone who was not ready to be with the girl he liked more than his best friend meant that I was not quite the priority I needed to be to even entertain the idea of marriage. If there is not sight of marry the guy than there is no point in dating him and creating more of an emotional bond than need be.
All said and done the relationship and process had good lessons while some were painful others taught me to not be so closed off to the world. (Something I struggle with daily) Without further ado, my advice: never cease praying for your future husband, for his struggles and for his achievements; do not stop forming yourself (you might think you are ready but you can always grow); and do not be afraid to end the relationship even if there is nothing that is wrong with the relationship to the outside world.
Happy Advent!
~A Girl Chasing Her Dreams
Recently I broke up with my boyfriend. It was one of the worst and best experiences that one can have. You learn to stand up for yourself even if breaking up with the other person does not necessarily mean that he or she is a horrible person; it means that the particular person is not meant for you. As much as the dating scene can have rough waters it does teach many lessons for those of us out there hoping to get married someday.
The first lesson that I learned is to let people into my life, to be vulnerable. This is one of the hardest things in life that I continually am trying to accomplish every day. It is not easy for me to be vulnerable thus when this man came into my life I tried every tactic in my book to try to scare him off. All of these ranging from acting completely disinterested and totally aloof to telling him straight up that I did not 'really like you the way you like me'. This did not deter him and a month later he was picking me up at my house to take me on a date. As we drove down the highway I was nervous...and he was too. To sum it all up he took me to dinner then we went dancing in the headlights. (Very fun for those who have not done it. Driving and then each of you alternate choosing a spot to jump out and dance to before continuing to drive down the dirt road) Anyways, to digress, to be vulnerable, to allow someone to do what they are meant to do, to pursue the woman, and to be the man was a lesson well worth learning.
The second lesson is that we must be equally yoked. From 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" This young man was not Catholic and I am full-blooded, cradle born Catholic. It was my biggest issue with our relationship, from the beginning. Many people told me to give him the chance and to deal with that later. So I focused on learning who he was as a person without trying to define him by what his faith was. As our short relationship grew though the tension of not being at the same place in our faith started to rise. I was answering questions and wanting him to come to Mass every Sunday with me, while he had other plans instead of rising early to attend Mass where it really didn't pertain to him. (Very hard for a non-Catholic to go to Mass every Sunday when they do not truly understand the meaning of the Mass) This lead to many disagreements and worries in our relationship. It is not impossible for a non-Catholic and a Catholic to marry but if they are not equally yoked there will be struggles for one will have to give up part of their faith for the sake of the other.
The third lesson: would he make a good father? In many aspects this young man would have made a good father. He was very kind to children and especially to the elderly. He loved to have fun and knew how to jump right in to listening to all the crazy things in my family. He has an excellent relationship with his mother but while all of this is good, he wasn't quite grown up. He would often leave town to race to other towns to help a friend in need. (good quality, bad timing) His best friend was more important than me. (Leaving me wondering what happened to our plans as he was off with his best friend) To marry someone who was not ready to be with the girl he liked more than his best friend meant that I was not quite the priority I needed to be to even entertain the idea of marriage. If there is not sight of marry the guy than there is no point in dating him and creating more of an emotional bond than need be.
All said and done the relationship and process had good lessons while some were painful others taught me to not be so closed off to the world. (Something I struggle with daily) Without further ado, my advice: never cease praying for your future husband, for his struggles and for his achievements; do not stop forming yourself (you might think you are ready but you can always grow); and do not be afraid to end the relationship even if there is nothing that is wrong with the relationship to the outside world.
Happy Advent!
~A Girl Chasing Her Dreams
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