Sunday, December 10, 2017

L!fe

Life is messy and oh so beautiful.  Everyday I find myself wondering what I truly want from my life. Ranching life or medical life? Then I wonder if these can coincide in life.  So many questions for such a young girl who truly wonders every day if she is even meant to be a grown up yet.  Then I remember that I am now twenty-one and heading full throttle into the adult life.  Yikes! This means that I have to make some big decisions and that these decisions are not child play anymore.  It also means that there is nothing wrong in making these decisions and that the decisions made might not be made very gracefully.  But this is always okay because life is not meant to look perfect let alone be perfect.  I have been working on moving forward in school which means there is a lot of work involved.  I am taking chemistry and physics this semester to prepare to major in BioChem to apply to Physician-Assistant school.  The classes are good and challenging but I enjoy learning in the classes.

Life has been pretty busy but fun at the same time.  In between classes I train three Paso Fino horses.  They have taught me so much in the past six months, from being more patient to learning how to overcome a behavior in a different way.  I enjoy being with them (even if they are being stubborn) because there is something so relaxing about being in the saddle out in the mountains where not a soul exists.  So grateful for this experience.  In between that I am leading a discipleship group for some high school senior girls. (Who thought I would lead that??) As I prepare for each week God works in many different ways.  I am not much of a Bible reader but every week I am reminded of how much the Bible has taught us and how it is literally a book of Truth in a world filled with so many lies.


For Thanksgiving I went to my aunt and uncle's house over in Cottonwood, ID.  It was a grand little adventure.  I drove over Lolo pass by myself and through the little sketchy towns along the river and then finally arrived in Cottonwood.  Of course the weekend was filled with lessons from Uncle Alex and good advice from Aunt Margaret.  As I have began to really try to navigate life (and enjoy it) by myself I have been very blessed with having Uncle Alex in my life to talk to and receive advice from.  Our discussions range from being very serious (marriage, boyfriends, and military) to being off the wall topics to going out to hunt for wolves with an AR-15.  Spending Thanksgiving with their family was very enjoyable and really helped me gain insight to what I truly want out of life, especially what I want to have in a husband as well as what I need to work on to be a good wife.....someday. 

As for now finals are upon the world and I have, of course, been panicking a little. All is well with the world though as we finish this semester and see where I will be next semester.  Christmas will be full of joy as we welcome our King into this world.

Happy Advent!
~A Girl Chasing her Dreams

Monday, December 4, 2017

Books before Boys because Boys bring Babies

Disclaimer: Babies are good, I just do not want one right now.


Recently I broke up with my boyfriend.  It was one of the worst and best experiences that one can have.  You learn to stand up for yourself even if breaking up with the other person does not necessarily mean that he or she is a horrible person; it means that the particular person is not meant for you.  As much as the dating scene can have rough waters it does teach many lessons for those of us out there hoping to get married someday.

The first lesson that I learned is to let people into my life, to be vulnerable.  This is one of the hardest things in life that I continually am trying to accomplish every day.  It is not easy for me to be vulnerable thus when this man came into my life I tried every tactic in my book to try to scare him off.  All of these ranging from acting completely disinterested and totally aloof to telling him straight up that I did not 'really like you the way you like me'.  This did not deter him and a month later he was picking me up at my house to take me on a date.  As we drove down the highway I was nervous...and he was too.  To sum it all up he took me to dinner then we went dancing in the headlights. (Very fun for those who have not done it.  Driving and then each of you alternate choosing a spot to jump out and dance to before continuing to drive down the dirt road)  Anyways, to digress, to be vulnerable, to allow someone to do what they are meant to do, to pursue the woman, and to be the man was a lesson well worth learning.

The second lesson is that we must be equally yoked.  From 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.  For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"   This young man was not Catholic and I am full-blooded, cradle born Catholic.  It was my biggest issue with our relationship, from the beginning.  Many people told me to give him the chance and to deal with that later.  So I focused on learning who he was as a person without trying to define him by what his faith was.  As our short relationship grew though the tension of not being at the same place in our faith started to rise.   I was answering questions and wanting him to come to Mass every Sunday with me, while he had other plans instead of rising early to attend Mass where it really didn't pertain to him.  (Very hard for a non-Catholic to go to Mass every Sunday when they do not truly understand the meaning of the Mass)  This lead to many disagreements and worries in our relationship.  It is not impossible for a non-Catholic and a Catholic to marry but if they are not equally yoked there will be struggles for one will have to give up part of their faith for the sake of the other.


The third lesson: would he make a good father?  In many aspects this young man would have made a good father. He was very kind to children and especially to the elderly.  He loved to have fun and knew how to jump right in to listening to all the crazy things in my family.  He has an excellent relationship with his mother but while all of this is good, he wasn't quite grown up.  He would often leave town to race to other towns to help a friend in need.  (good quality, bad timing)  His best friend was more important than me.  (Leaving me wondering what happened to our plans as he was off with his best friend)  To marry someone who was not ready to be with the girl he liked more than his best friend meant that I was not quite the priority I needed to be to even entertain the idea of marriage.  If there is not sight of marry the guy than there is no point in dating him and creating more of an emotional bond than need be.

All said and done the relationship and process had good lessons while some were painful others taught me to not be so closed off to the world.  (Something I struggle with daily) Without further ado, my advice: never cease praying for your future husband, for his struggles and for his achievements; do not stop forming yourself (you might think you are ready but you can always grow); and do not be afraid to end the relationship even if there is nothing that is wrong with the relationship to the outside world.

Happy Advent!
~A Girl Chasing Her Dreams


Thursday, September 21, 2017

Success in a Hollywood World

Lately I have been feeling the stress of being successful.  I look around at all my friends (or even people I barely know) and I immediately begin to compare myself to whether I am as good as them. Sometimes I define success as being married and starting a family, other days I look at it as the accomplishment of having a degree and a good job, and still others I look at it as how much I have done with my life. (This can range of being able to run a half marathon to being in the military to how much I have traveled)  This type of stress consumes a person and all they can do is start to worry and become selfish with their desires.

What is the definition of success anyways? According to the Cambridge Dictionary success is: "The achieving of desired results, or someone or something that achieves positive results."  In this definition there is not any comparison of one person to another.  It is only  your desired results.  Success is not and should not be defined by another and definitely should not be defined by the Hollywood world that we live in. When I get worried about how my life is turning out I remind myself of everything that I have done and then I set a new goal. You are not living your life to impress others but to know, love and serve the Lord.

So to be successful I have set the goal to run a half marathon in February and have started training for it.  Good luck to me because sometimes running sucks! In this I am working on really trusting that the Lord has a plan.  The running allows me to push myself physically and show myself that I can accomplish a goal each day whether that is running three miles, five miles (next week) or ten miles in a few weeks!  I have seen so many blessings in just the past three months but extending to the past six months.  Including, but not limited to, spending time outdoors, learning ranch things, and being blessed to begin a discipleship group.  Each person's success is very unique to them because we are all unique. (Thank Goodness!)

In this Hollywood world we all need to remember that each individual person has such a unique purpose which is absolutely beautiful! As fall sets in I am going to work on enjoying each step of the way and really learning to be hopeful in the future. (A certain kind of trust)  Here is to learning, dancing, and enjoying this wild, crazy, precious life!

Til next time!
~A girl chasing her dreams

                              Thanks for being my running partner & getting me to the finish line


I am blessed to have people in my life that so patiently teach me about horses and cows



 

Monday, August 28, 2017

A Modern Day Ruth

"And at the end of the day your feet should be dirty, your hair messy and your eyes sparkling."         Author Unknown

It is the end of summer and the above quote are my feelings exactly.  The most important part is that my eyes are sparkling, my heart is full, and I am excited for this coming school year. This summer was a summer of growth.  In general since January 1, 2017 I feel like I have been growing.  In the beginning of the year I went to the FOCUS conference down in San Antonio, TX, which kicked off the year for a lot of spiritual growth.  After that I completed two courses at Helena College amidst some work on the Bignell Ranch and enjoying a couple of ski days.  Fast forward to summer where I still did not get into a nursing program and sent myself into full panic mode of figuring out a major or a Plan B.  While I panicked and thought everything relied on me I went to the Cathedral of St. Helena to offer a simple prayer.  I asked God to one: not put a man in my life until he and I were both ready to take on this challenge; two: help me with my patience.  Two things that should not be mixed. 

 Upon this prayer I randomly started to pray for the intercession of St. Joseph and to learn about him more.  As the Chaste Spouse he is the greatest example for the world for the "perfect spouse".  I have heard that St. Joseph answers prayers in such a simple but profound way that it is almost unbelievable.  Over the course of the summer there were many opportunities to pray for his intercession in my life which leads to the next part of my life which came to me just a bit ago.  I have struggled this summer with really trusting God with my life, even though He knew me before He formed me in my mother's womb.  (Jeremiah 1:5 I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations." If He knew me at this level then I must trust Him with the rest of my life.  Coming back to how Ruth is such an inspiration for me right now.  Ruth had given everything up to move to Naomi's home. (Her mother in law) When she was out working in the fields Boaz came to the fields and praised Ruth's work, asking her to stay with the women of the field to work.  From this story I can only imagine what the world would look like if we all did God's Will the way Ruth did so humbly.  

This leads me to my end thoughts. For my life I am learning to trust God's will with a childlike trust.  Every time I start to worry about my future and my future husband (and how he must be perfect!) I send a little prayer to St. Joseph, knowing he is watching over both of us and every time I worry if I am doing God's will I think of Ruth, and how she was doing God's will by doing the most simple things, leading her to a great blessing. It is hard for me to not worry but worrying about tomorrow only takes away from today's joys. 



Keep Smiling!
Blue Skies Ahead!
~A girl chasing her dreams

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

The Past Few Months

Phewsta~ it's been a while and many things have happened that may have seemed to "upset the apple cart".  The first, I moved back to Helena from North Dakota to continue my schooling. The second, I have been working at as a CNA at Touchmark.  The first has helped me tremendously and I do not regret going to North Dakota because I learned a lot and am still very young so no need to worry.  The second, has taught me a lot of patience and how to understand people more fully by truly listening.
Now what am I doing with my life? Well I am going to become a nurse and that is for sure, some how, some way. I am paying off my debt by working 32 hours a week and taking only a couple of classes. In my time off I spend my time working out and catching up with various people while still trying to slip in some ski days while winter is still lasting.  This all may sound like a either a very boring life or not "living it up" while still being in college and being so young.  It also may seem like I do not have my life figured out.  But I have come to a realization while I was down in Texas at a convention; life is messy and often not very well planned.  Well it's not well planned by us but by God it is all figured out.  How boring it would be if we had a blueprint handed to us for how life was supposed to happen? Anyho.....That's the life for now.

A little skiing to finish up Winter.  



Oh how I love being on the Ranch!


Ranching is where my heart is.  I did not grow up a rancher but I was constantly around those type of people.  How rich and full of life they are.  As I was driving home with such a full heart and dirty hands, and clothes, and boots, and everything, I was thinking of why it made me so happy.  Then my Grandma stated it perfectly, "It's being so close to the earth for which God made for us to enjoy." Yes! This is why ranching always makes me so happy.  Is it frustrating when that cow refuses to go through the gate? Yes, it is, especially when it decides to take off across the field.  But all this aside it is being outside while often looking like a wild thing either running behind a cow or trying to cut it off with the four-wheeler while fully using our abilities to work the earth. 

Find your passion and run with it!

Til Next Time!
~A Girl Chasing her Dreams


Tuesday, October 11, 2016

The Day I Grew Up

I am twenty years old and I just started really growing up.  It is hard to come to the reality that your parents will not always be there for you to make your decisions.  Sooner or later one must leave the family and build his or her own life.  This reality hit me the other night when within two days I had called my mom with many problems.  First I was homesick, next I was angry, and the next day I did not know how to handle some situations around me.  So I thought it would be a great idea to call my mother on a Monday night.  Soon after I tried telling her everything my Dad got on the phone and said, "Michaela, you have to grow up.  You have to make some decisions on your own.  They have to be your own and if they were not the right ones then you just have to move on and pray to the Holy Spirit to guide you always."  These are words of wisdom.  They were exactly what I needed.  No more pretend about being grown up.  This is real life in the real world. Well shucks.

So what does this mean? It means that every time that I want to call my mom about a problem I should first learn how to handle it on my own.  She has seven other kids at home.  This means that when I want to go do something I can just go do it instead of asking my parents what they think.  This means that I can hang out with who I want to. I can talk to boys that I think are cool.  I can try new things.  I can begin new activities. In turn all of these things should then reflect what my parents raised me to do and be like.  

It is hard to begin something new and to really learn to grow up.  But it is life and it will happen whether you want it to happen or not.  So instead of moping about what we cannot change I made a resolution within myself to start living it up.  No, not by partying but by forcing myself to go out of my comfort zone.  This was started by going to workout with some guys then going to dinner with them.  First off this is what I have wanted for a long time but second off it placed me outside of my comfort zone. This lead to conversations that opened up some more questions in my life at the same time of answering some questions I have had for many years.  So this helped me know that I can make more of what I have now.

So for the next month my goal is to meet more people and to try to go out of my comfort zone.  I want to bring the light to many people and not to only be closed in on myself.  I am learning that other people have things to offer.  People bring other perspectives to life that I may not have.  Thus, I need to start seeing this and drink in the joy that others have also.  It is hard in college not to turn in on one's self and become a one man for himself deal.  It would be easier but if we are truly trying to better ourselves than we cannot turn in on ourselves.  So spend time in prayer, ask God to help you, and live it up!

Til next time!
~A girl chasing her dreams









Sunday, September 11, 2016

The Call of Singlehood

               A friend of mine texted me the other morning telling me about a dream she had the night before.  As we would love all of our stories to go, she was dating one of her good friends from her hometown which meant she was dating one of her best friends which is what all girls hope for. (Boys take note) After a good dream she woke up and realized she was, yep, still single. What a disappointment to realize this.  What we do not realize is that sometimes we are called to the "season of singleness" for a reason.  One reason I have found is to help me become more satisfied with being me and creating a better version of myself.  Another reason is because we need to grow closer to God because if we are not close to God then how will we be close to another human being.

                Being single means we have so many opportunities for adventures and to meet so many new people.  It is our chance to build up relationships because we do not have any attachments to anything but what we, ourselves choose to attach to.  We do not have the financial worries of another person or the worries of supporting another person.  We can give of ourselves to many different things because we are not focusing on the calling of a family.  I am still learning to use this time wisely.  I have caught myself moping about at times but I try to pull myself out of it because otherwise I am wasting time that could be spent living outside of myself.  I have loved living in the moment with my family and the people around me.  Even more I have enjoyed growing to become the best version of myself.  Pictures are the best way to describe one's life so without further ado here are some highlights from the summer time.


                                            Somewhere on a beach


                                                         They call the thing a rodeo
                                                   
                                                                             The three amigos


Here is to an excellent year of growing in many ways!

~A Girl chasing her Dreams