The Beginning of Fall 2018

Because I never know what I am doing, when I will next speak to some people, or when I will even see certain people here goes a little documentation of the first three weeks of school.  (Probably see you around Thanksgiving)

We began the school year by Katherine and I moving into our own apartment.  It is a little apartment which we absolutely love.  We are still decorating it and currently the decoration in the kitchen is a statue of Mary on our fridge and my little bit of red/gold material, that I bought in France, draped above the window.  As we have been settling into our kind of new way of living we also have been trying some recipes out. (I have tried a couple variations of tacos as well as an asian salad.....my cooking is improving) Some truffles were made in the process as well because no one can forget about dessert.  I would say that we are definitely winging this thing of living on our own. Stop by for some entertainment and maybe trying some new tasty recipes.....okay not my recipes, Katherine's tasty cooking. 

Now on to the school part.  I was so worried about stepping into my organic chemistry class this semester.  I am telling ya, I definitely have anxiety from last semester's chemistry class.  Aside from that our professor is great.  She answers our questions, practices the material in class with us, and is always ready to make some sort of joke about the material. (Why do we rarely talk about Boron? Cause it's boring.) Physics is......interesting. Our professor's first language is not english so that makes learning physics a bit difficult as most times we are trying to figure out what she just said in the first place.  The other classes are just fine.  Lab is scheduled for three hours and we have been told we are lucky if we get out at three hours.  Our lab professor was true to her word as we left lab three and a half hours later.  With all of this I still enjoy my major a lot. 

Lastly, what do we do for fun? Well to start with Katherine and I workout pretty much every day (except for lab day because I am exhausted).  Pretty much every Tuesday we go out dancing for a couple of hours and pretend to be the Bell of the ball.  We do have many dancing partners because according to the guys we are the best ones there. And that is about it for what we do.  School is our priority and right after that our sleep is.  So here is to the semester of maintaining a sleep, study, and fun schedule!

Searching for our purpose

This summer has led to a lot of self reflection that sometimes is not the most fun thing to do.  At the same time it leads to becoming a better version of yourself.  While so often I wish I knew exactly what I am going to do with each of my days and how to take the next step to reach my goal I realize that there needs to be the peace with just taking the next step and living in the moment. This summer I have done exactly that by meeting new people and enjoying planning parties for people to enjoy each other's company.  By planning these things I hope to introduce like minded people to create a community of people who are inspiring each other to be the best versions of themselves.

Something I have learned very slowly and am still learning is that I am not perfect so this life is far from perfect.  Which what even is perfect? ....besides our Lord.  As my mornings start with a slap in the face (literally) from a lady I care for I wonder what I am even going on for.  Then my day ends with a little lady grabbing my hand and whispering in my ear that she loves me.  She might tell me she wants me fired tomorrow but for now she loves me.  This, this is what I show up to work for each and every day. I am here to ensure that the little lady, who does not remember who her husband is, has a good day and that she goes to sleep knowing somehow she is loved in some way.  My job each day is for the man that I care for to know he will not need to worry about how he is getting to his appointments. For now this is my purpose.  My purpose is to care for these people who are at a vulnerable stage in life and for now that is what I must be content with. 

For any of those searching for their purpose try to take solace in knowing that you are living your purpose if you are striving.  You are living your purpose if you are running towards the Lord. 

   

A Catholic Life

How often the world looks at a Catholic life and think it is boring and too restraining.  This is so far from the truth because this life is the most exciting life that one can have! This last semester Katherine and I attended a college group led by Father Kirby.  This group was such a blessing, beyond just the theology of the group there was such a great little community formed from meeting our swing dance partners to just knowing more people around campus.  Our priest is a very young priest, thus he definitely feeds our souls with theology and adventures.  As we were preparing for the end of school and finals had us all in a tizzy Father Kirby asked us what we were going to do to continue forming our souls over the summer.  With all good intentions we each went around discussing how we were going to continue our spiritual education over the summer.  Then summer hit.  I have not been to daily Mass very often, confession is hard to go to when I am at work, and my time with Jesus is often me telling Him how tired I am at the end of a day's work in adoration.   Often I sit there in the chapel just silently crying or begging God for some energy to continue my day.  My worry is that I am not doing enough, not enough for my family, not enough for others, and certainly not enough for God.  This leads me to my next thought.

As I was talking to one of my closest friends the other evening I realized that God does not ask for perfection but He does ask us to strive for progress.  Progress can be seen in many different ways in the world but in the Catholic world it is seen as one striving to point others to Christ.  How often I think to myself that I want to save the world and that me, myself, and I can do it. I am constantly humbled as I hold a person's hand as she nears death and a tear streams down my face.  I am humbled as I hold someone near because words cannot explain the fear of losing their memories, intellect, and comprehension of this world.  I am humbled as I see that I am not the wisest nor the smartest but that someone else is.  Living this wild Catholic life never leaves one without hope.  There is always hope for the person as they pass from this world to the next.  There is hope for the person who is slowly losing their memories.  And there is hope even for me, who is not the wisest nor the smartest.  If each of us live our lives as striving and progressing then this world will become better; it is when this world becomes stagnant and thinks we have reached perfection than we have something to be worried about.  So keep striving and know that there is always hope. 


                                           Just some pictures to keep updated on life.

 

Montana Tech and Other Life Events

This previous January I moved down to Butte, Montana. (Otherwise known as Butte, America)  Down there I am majoring in Chemistry with a minor in psychology.  My days are filled with labs, class times, and lots of studying.  Spring break finally came but the two weeks prior to it were pretty darn hard.  They were filled with late nights, going to Helena, and of course lots of studying.  As spring break approached I caught a cold somewhere and man talk about sending myself for a whirl.  Even though I did catch a cold I still took off dancing because that is all I had been looking forward to and as I walked through the doors I was so happy I did.  Chris (one of the guys) was super excited and instantly held out his hands as we started spinning across the floor.

This is such a crazy mess of thoughts but often I wonder what God has in plan for me.  As I wonder this I think of how life is definitely not perfect but because it is not perfect there is more adventure to it.  As I am racing up the highways to go back to Helena for youth group sometimes I am hanging on by a thread.  Sometimes I am super excited to be headed back but sometimes tears are streaming down my face because I am so tired.  What joy comes from all of this though.  In my small existence I wonder what the point is.  The point is this; in the small existence of someone there is so much importance to them.  The thought of how you don't matter is the opposite of what it should mean.  It is the greatest practice of humility.  You are not important but you are so important.  God thought the world needed one of you....only you.  At the same time you are here to serve not to be served.  Such great practice of humility, especially for me.

Now just for some fun updates.  I love dancing and have really missed it the past couple of years.  I have went every once in a while but not as much as I used to.  So Tuesday nights are the night! This has been one of the best things that has happened.  The new moves and spinning across the floor all the while trying to make everything look so smoothe and fancy.  It has put me back to working on now leading all the time but sometimes following, and really trusting.  All the way from simple floor moves to trusting a fall there are many opportunities for me to learn (again) that I am not the one in charge all the time.  Another fun little bucket list thing I have added is tagging cows.  I tagged my first cow a couple weeks ago which was fun and a little terrifying as the gun got ripped out of my hands as I was holding the little calf down. 

Montana, my heart belongs here and will always belong here.  The opportunities and the adventures are endless.  From skiing down cliffs to getting ready for cliff jumping during the summer you will always hold the next opportunity that allows for one to be humbled constantly.

Till next time,
~A Girl Chasing Her Dreams

Everyone Needs a Mother

Recently my sisters and I have been spending much more time with our Grandma.  Usually Grandma is racing around doing more than we normal people do....times one hundred.  Recently Grandma has been have migraines that last for hours sometimes through the days.  Most of us all thought it was related to stress but my Grandma insisted on getting an MRI to make sure that it was not a tumor.  Meanwhile down in Butte Katherine and I planned to go to Mass on Thursday long before we heard about this and when we found out we offered up the Mass for Grandma.  When we came home last weekend then we found out that Grandma was healthy, just needed to slow down a bit.  So all weekend my sisters and I spent time with Grandma, taking her to a cousin's basketball game, going cross country skiing, and watching Wonder Woman with her.  (Yes, my 65 year old Grandma watched Wonder Woman...and loved it!) Spending this time with Grandma was so good.  As granddaughters we were able to slightly give back some time that Grandma gave us when we were younger.  How often I wonder what it would be like to not have the strong family around us.  A thought coming from this was how often I have pushed my family to the side in the midst of my frustrations with them.  I have been trying to teach myself to take a moment and ask myself if my frustrations are worth it.  If I were to come home and not have this family, what would my life be like?

Leading to this is my blow up that I had with my mother.  Usually I just sulk for a day or two about what is bothering me, disappear and try to fix things within myself because often it really is just my issue.  This last weekend did not exactly go like that.  Instead I was trying to drown out any anger that was within me but let all things go.  Storming off from the table I went to our classroom and began to work on homework.  Now where did this anger come from? I have been close to my mother for many years, including high school years.  When my sister began to go to college this year I felt pushed to the side and almost forgotten about.  I also felt as if I my decisions and work were worth nothing because I was not on the path everyone seemed to want to find me on.  Adding to this I felt as if I had lost my best friend, my mother, because I was not working hard enough. Looking back it is all very silly and probably ridiculous to any outsider but to me I felt the distance growing between my parents and I.  I am not a peacekeeper but I am not like most young adults my age who are able to grow apart from their parents so easily.  So do not let things bottle up but maybe be a little more gentle in how you tell your family members something.


Dear Mom,
We all need a mother and some of us need one more than others.  I feel as if you are my closest friend and adviser in life.  You have had some pretty amazing adventures and your life as a young adult was just a tad bit different than mine which is why I love listening to your advice.  Sometimes I am bull headed and want to try my own thing which often means I did not heed your words of wisdom but thought my way was better.  I am still learning (both in books and life) and often wish I would've listened but such is life.  Someday I can tell my kids (your grandchildren, scary thought) that I was a bit of a rebellion and liked to study life on the chemical level versus the systematic level but that the only reason I could do that was because you had made sure that my high school days were filled with math and writing.  I can tell my kids, "because of your Grandma we are doing reactions instead of memorizing facts from the history book."  So Mom the only reason I am where I am at is because of you.  Often I forget it and out of my short temper I lash out but all I am trying to say is that sometimes I miss you and because I am often a porcupine with a hard outside and a soft inside I suck at telling you that.
I love you.
Your Oldest,
Michaela

Til Next Time,
~A Girl Chasing Her Dreams  

Think Positive and Being Heard

         "Treat everyone as a gentleman, not because they are but because you are." ~Abraham Lincoln 

These past few weeks have been crazy, from transferring schools to Christmas events to fitting in a few ski days.  My life has not went as I planned it, but from God showing me bigger plans I have grown.  That aside I have been taught so much from leading my girls group, meeting with my adviser, and growing up.

Leading my girl's group: what a challenge and a blessing.  Many weeks I am scrambling to make a study that will fit to what the girls need spiritually that week.  Often I snag something from        Father Mike Schmitz to get our conversation going then I come up with questions to help the girls grow in being a mature Catholic adult.  I ask them the theology behind what we are discussing, then I move on to what are some of their concerns/questions about the subject and lastly I ask them how they think they would respond in a situation concerning what we are discussing.  This can be a challenge when there are tough subjects to discuss.  One of my girls often treats the subjects too lightly and makes the girls feel like their thoughts are not worthy to be voiced.  While I often feel defeated from not feeling like they are learning anything I see the rewards long after I see the downfalls.  My girls have taught me how to lead with conviction, how to allow others to see your suffering (not in a whiny way but showing that you are not perfect) and to fully listen to others.  

My adviser: I am starting to take classes at Montana Tech this next semester.   I have felt so far behind and often as if I am pursuing my degree for someone else other than myself.  I have switched majors to BioChem to apply to PA school in a few years. (Yes, years) Every time I have met with my adviser I have felt as if he is truly listening to what I want out of life and not just showing me all my failures.  Today he looked at my transcripts, looking at my electives saying, "you won't have a problem with getting electives, you already have plenty of those!" To which I sadly  responded, "yes, I know."  Looking me straight in the eye he said, "Nope you are gonna think positively of your transcript.  When you go to write your letter of why YOU are the best candidate.  You are not going to apologize for your transcripts but proudly show them.  You are going to show how you explored life and came to the sound decision that YOU will be the best in being a PA.  You will firmly state why YOU will be the best caregiver, fully understanding your patient and why they should choose YOU over anyone else."  To be heard, fully understood, and to be pushed into being positive is such an amazing thing.  How I have learned to be more positive and to help others be more positive in such a downtrodden world.  It's difficult to think positive all the time but sometimes we need someone to blatantly tell us to think positive.  

Growing up: I am not talking about teenage years, but of the awkward time in between balancing college, a job, a social life, and starting to make a life independent of your family.  Maybe you are dating or maybe you are single as a pringle but moving into the adult world is by far one of the most difficult things I have ever done.  As a college student you have to explore to know what YOU like.  Not what your parents like, not what your friends like, but what you and only you like.  What do you want to do with your life? It is your life, no one else's.  

The quote of Abraham Lincoln perfectly demonstrates how we should act in this world.  We can only be responsible for ourselves, no one else.  So if all you can do in this world is be the gentleman than do that because it might just make a difference for someone in this world, even if you never know about it.